You said you’re not afraid of dying.
You said you’re more afraid of living.
I can’t keep up with the present.
And it’s the future that keeps me up at night.
I know better than to question my existence
but sometimes I wonder why the hell I’m living.
I’m not the cause of something.
I live for you and nothing.
You are the backbone to everything that I own,
the conscious in my mind, the gold on my throne,
the words I can’t speak, the lack of sweet dreams.
My world is falling apart.
I hope you’re proud of me
because I don’t think I would be.
Seeing your son with gun for a tongue
must be every parent’s dream.
I have potential but it’s the words I can’t handle.
They rip me apart with their judgmental standards.
Leave me alone, I need to keep control.
My world is falling apart and it’s my fault.
I told myself when I grow up I’d be the best that I could be.
But all I see in the reflection is a failure looking back at me.
I thought my life would be easy
and I thought that I’d be happy.
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